The Amazing Transplant (1970)

Cursory research into the background and perception of this low-budget sex picture reveals some debate about whether it was the first film to feature a penis transplant as a plot device, but I’m sure readers will understand my lack of passion for investigating the matter further. In fact, if I could have back the time I wasted aiming my eyeballs at The Amazing Transplant, I’d surely be grateful. For while there’s a certain crass novelty to the subject matter, The Amazing Transplant is only peripherally about the medical procedure to which its title refers. Most of the picture comprises unpleasant scenes of a psycho named Arthur (Joao Fernandez) scoring private time with ladies, freaking out when he sees their earrings, and then killing the women during sex. Meanwhile, a detective named Bill (Larry Hunter) tries to find Arthur after he goes missing, only to discover the trail of bodies Arthur has left behind. Eventually, Bill learns that Arthur demanded a doctor graft another man’s penis onto Arthur’s body. The new organ brought with it homicidal intent, so The Amazing Transplant is basically a grindhouse derivation of the 1920 French novel Les Mains d’Orlac, which has been adapted for the screen several times. Yet the lack of originality is the least of this awful movie’s sins. The acting is horrible, the lighting is garish, the sound was badly cobbled together in post-production, and the sex scenes are boring, exploitive, and grimy. Suffice to say nothing resembling a scare appears onscreen, and if you find The Amazing Transplant the least bit titillating, then please keep your distance.

The Amazing Transplant: SQUARE