Opinion being what it is, cinefiles
will never agree on which movie deserves the title “Worst Film Ever Made,” or
even the title “Worst Picture of the ’70s.” Nonetheless, Curse of the Headless Horseman would be a fierce competitor in
either contest. Cheap, grubby, incoherent, and stupid, this unwatchable horror
flick blends amateur theater, half-assed FX, insipid hippies, and weird sexual
encounters into a nonsensical stew of poorly exposed and frequently out-of-focus
images. The movie has several different main storylines, but it’s not as if the
filmmakers strove to generate a multi-threaded narrative; rather, one gets the
feeling that they either made up new scenes during production or simply shot every
idea they had without bothering to reconcile how different elements related to
each other. Mark (Marland Proctor) and his girlfriend, Brenda (Claudia Reame),
venture to an old ranch that Mark has inherited, because the terms of a bequest
require that Mark transform the ranch into a viable business. Mark tries to
open a resort (or a hotel or something), but every night, a headless horseman
shows up to either splatter someone with blood or kill someone. Exhibiting the
sort of illogical behavior that’s typical of characters in bargain-basement
horror flicks, Mark stays put instead of fleeing, thereby ensuring a steady
supply of victims as the headless horseman continues his/its supernatural
search for a group of gunfighters from the past. Whatever. If anything makes
sense in this movie, it’s accidental. The acting is as wretched as the
storytelling, the kill scenes lack any discernible excitement, and the
soundtrack is filled with screechy noises. Furthermore, once the filmmakers
start assaulting viewers’ eyes by tinting different shots with random colors,
it’s clear that pure desperation has taken root, even though every effort the
filmmakers make to generate stimulation utterly fails. Make your own jokes
about how the people behind Curse of the
Headless Horseman could have solved their problems by using their heads.
Curse of the Headless Horseman: SQUARE
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