Ebony, Ivory & Jade (1976)

Thanks to dynamic artwork and a kitschy title, the American release poster for this exploitation flick from Filipino-cinema hack Cirio H. Santiago promises a no-nonsense thriller about multiethnic hotties kicking ass. No such luck. Originally titled She Devils in Chains—and also known as American Beauty Hostages, Foxfire, and Foxforce—this clunker tells a turgid story about Hong Kong hoodlums kidnapping a group of female American athletes. Despite a few vignettes of high-kicking karate action, most of the scenes depict the athletes’ time in captivity, as well as the activities of friends and relatives determined to effect their release. At first, the movie seems purposeful because the villains claim they want money to finance a political agenda. Before long, however, the narrative degrades into the usual human-slavery muck that permeates so many ’70s women-in-prison pictures. Although the title Ebony, Ivory & Jade suggests a close-quarters drama about three women from different backgrounds bonding over the course of a shared ordeal, the actual movie concerns four athletes, none of whom emerges as a vivid character. The two black athletes are interchangeable, with each delivering impassioned dialogue about racial oppression, and the nominal leading character, Ginger Douglas (Colleen Camp), is a one-note spoiled rich girl. Set to punishingly repetitive music, the PG-rated Ebony, Ivory & Jade is a whole lot of nothing, because Santiago neither delivers the goods in terms of sexy exploitation elements nor provides the sort of compelling storyline that could have rendered such elements superfluous.

Ebony, Ivory & Jade: LAME