Cinematic
explorers who get their kicks finding the worst movies ever made will dig the
supernatural-themed sex flick Psyched by
the 4D Witch. The movie comprises an 80-minute hallucination, because
filmmaker Victor Luminera—who never made another movie—employs so many
acid-trip superimpositions, in-camera visual FX, and swirling colors that the
picture resembles the background images from a Pink Floyd concert, only with
nudie shots thrown in every so often. Had Luminera provided a soundtrack as
bizarre as the visuals, Psyched by the 4D
Witch might have become a minor landmark in experimental filmmaking. Alas,
the voiceover-driven audio tells a linear story that grounds the images in
dimwitted salaciousness. Protagonist Cindy, a girl-next-door blonde wearing
Mary Pickford curls, complains about sexual hangups until she discovers a
magical connection to Abigail, a witch from the fourth dimension who manifests
as a pair of free-floating eyes. Abigail explains that she’ll take Cindy into
extrasensory realms of carnal satisfaction, with each trip to the fourth dimension
triggered by the command, “Let’s fantasy-fuck now!” At first, Cindy is
reluctant, hence a line of dialogue that’s disturbing on many levels: “And I’ll
still remain a virgin for my daddy?” The fourth-dimension humping scenes
feature grody shots of Cindy stripping, guys (and girls) grinding away, and
lots of visual noise layered atop the basic imagery, the better to accompany
freaky sound collages. Luminera also subjects viewers to several iterations of
the film’s atrocious fuzz-rock theme song. Offering an interminable hybrid of
smut and trippiness, Psyched by the 4D
Witch is nothing but tarted-up sleaze or an amateur film exercise gone
horribly wrong, if not both.
Psyched by the 4D Witch (A Tale of
Demonology): SQUARE
I love this movie.
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