Stories about
shy young men receiving lessons in love from aging lotharios are fairly
commonplace, and so too are stories about humans gaining deeper understandings
about life by bonding with animals. Blending these archetypal narratives was a
strange idea, but that’s what happens in Frasier,
the Sensuous Lion, sometimes more timidly titled Frasier, the Loveable Lion. The plot revolves around a meek
zoologist who becomes friends with an aging African lion. The animal has two
remarkable qualities. First, he maintains extraordinary virility despite being
the equivalent of an 80-year-old man, and second, he can telepathically
communicate with the zookeeper. Somehow, the plot also involves a mobster with
(implied) erectile dysfunction, a pair of bumbling hit men, and a public craze
during which media reports about Frasier inspire countless Americans of a
certain age to get frisky. You might begin to wonder if Frasier, the Sensuous Lion is an outrageous satire, but excepting
one pointless f-bomb, it’s a tame picture with a PG rating. Because, hey, isn’t
a lighthearted movie about a jungle cat with a preternaturally potent phallus
suitable for viewers of nearly all ages?
Marvin Feldman (Michael Callan) is a
34-year-old zoology professor who still lives with his domineering Jewish
mother. He’s thrilled to receive an invitation to work at a nature preserve in
Southern California, so he schleps his luggage and his pet bird across the
country to begin his new adventure. Upon reaching California, Marvin
inexplicably requests and receives permission to take a lion cub back to his
hotel room. Somehow, this isn’t a red flag for his new coworkers. The next
morning, Marvin is shocked that the cub trashed his hotel room while Marvin
slept. Again, Marvin is a zoologist;
one imagines he didn’t receive great marks in animal-behavior classes. Soon
Marvin is assigned to study Frasier, patriarch of a pride with seven lionesses,
all of whom Frasier satisfies regularly.
Once they’re alone, Frasier
begins transmitting messages into Marvin’s mind, explaining in voiceover
(performed by Victor Jory) that he has special mental powers. Frasier talks
about other things, too—and talks and talks and talks. He jokes about lions
eating Christians in ancient Rome, he rhapsodizes about his first love (“her
fur was the texture of spun gold”), and he whines about insatiable lionesses. Eventually Marvin’s coworkers learn about his “conversations” with the
big cat, and word leaks to the press. As Frasier achieves stardom, seemingly
every character in the story becomes sex-crazed. The preserve’s hot secretary,
Minerva (Lori Saunders), warns tough-guy game warden Bill (Malachi Throne) not
to watch Frasier in action, because doing makes Bill horny. Another preserve
worker, Allison (Katherine Justice), becomes amorous around Marvin. A mobster sends hoods to kidnap Marvin so the mobster
can learn the “secret” of Frasier’s virility. All of this is played straight, with
nobody questioning the idea of fetishizing an animal’s sex life—in
one scene, a geezer flashes his Frasier T-shirt as a means of communicating to
his nurse that he got laid the night before.
Frasier, the Sensuous Lion is the sort of odd movie that raises vexing questions. Who thought this was a good idea? Did no one realize the
project was in poor taste? Who was the intended audience? And here’s the
kicker. This movie was based on a true
story. There really was a Frasier at a preserve in Laguna Hills circa 1972,
and he really did get busy with the ladies. In fact, before this film was released, the
big cat’s exploits were celebrated in a song called “Frasier (The Sensuous
Lion)” by jazz great Sarah Vaughan. Don’t ask why—it was the ’70s, man.
Frasier, the Sensuous Lion: FREAKY
And, yes, I'm aware of the insane Frasier-themed episode of HBO's The Leftovers...
ReplyDeleteThis whole story makes a little more sense to me -- the story, not the movie, which still sounds horribly ill-advised -- after I tracked down on Youtube a Jean Shepherd radio broadcast about Frasier. The story goes that the zoo was trying to start a new pride and kept offering young lions, but the lionesses would have nothing to do with them. Then the zoo tried Frasier. Frasier was in a bad way, moving with difficulty and not even able to control his tongue anymore, as it was always lolling out. For whatever reasons best known to lionesses, they not only accepted him but began to dote on him. I suppose this is in some way mildly charming. I also think that older men hunt around for such stories for all the affirmation they can get. I think of John Glenn's Space Shuttle mission, or George Foreman winning back the World Heavyweight Championship at age 45, or Anthony Quinn fathering a son at age 81, and each time you would hear that older men were walking around with a new spring in their step. So as an anecdote, Frasier may be rather typical and passable, but to be expected. But as a movie? It sounds like pure desperation.
ReplyDeleteThe Quinn episode reminds me of a favorite NY tabloid headline, probably the Post: "Zorba the Stud!"
ReplyDeleteI need that 1-sheet!
ReplyDeleteThough almost a decade earlier, this reminds me of the bizarre Tommy Kirk title 'The Unkissed Bride' - pure madness.