So Sad About Gloria (1975)

          As a general rule, learning that a horror movie was once skewered by Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, means that it’s wise to give the film in question a wide berth. Sure enough, even calling So Sad About Gloria unremarkable requires generosity. That said, this clumsy little psychological thriller has some interesting elements, even if they don’t quite rise to the level of redeeming qualities. The filmmakers cut to a particular mysterious image so often that one becomes curious to learn the truth—who the hell is that guy banging away at a coffin with an axe? Similarly, the other recurring motif involving an axe, that of a murderer stalking into mansions and hacking away at unsuspecting women, seems so disassociated from the rest of the storyline that the desire for an explanation grows steadily as the movie progresses. The fact that most of this flick’s intrigue lives on the periphery of the narrative correctly indicates that the narrative proper is enervated. And while leading lady (and former Petticoat Junction costar) Lori Saunders is quite lovely, the limitations of her skills are considerable, so she’s a big reason why So Sad About Gloria lacks depth.

          At the beginning of the movie, aging Frederick (Dean Jagger) collects his twentysomething niece, Gloria (Saunders), from a mental hospital. Traumatized during childhood by witnessing her father’s death, Gloria is now deemed ready for a normal life—or, more specifically, a luxurious one, since she inherited her father’s considerable estate. Gloria tries to enjoy tranquil days of horseback riding and contemplation even as she’s plagued by strange auditory and visual hallucinations. Then she meets, falls in love with, and marries Chris (Robert Ginnaven), a sensitive writer who bizarrely sets up housekeeping with Gloria in a mansion where an axe murder once happened. Commence the usual “Is the really going crazy?” routine.

          As directed by Harry Thomason—who made several ’70s horror flicks before finding his true calling in the ’80s as a TV producer alongside wife Linda Bloodworth-Thomason—So Sad About Gloria is as subtle as a right cross, but it has a few mildly creepy moments, especially toward the climax. It also has at least two different twist endings, the first of which is satisfying and the second of which is merely confusing. That’s how it goes with So Sad About Gloria—sometimes it’s a movie that deserves Elvira’s derision, and sometimes it isn’t.

So Sad About Gloria: FUNKY