The
first half-hour of the lifeless UK horror flick Virgin Witch seems like some sort of randy fantasy that Austin
Powers might envision—two comely sisters in London entertain notions of
becoming nude models, which means they repeatedly disrobe and talk about
disrobing. This dull but salacious stretch of the movie also features such
pervy signifiers as a pretty young woman giggling after she’s casually groped
by a stranger on the street, and—of course—a creepy-but-attractive older
lesbian eye-raping a hottie while taking measurements of her nude body. Think Penthouse Forum: UK Edition. Then, once
the action shifts from London to a country estate, where older sister Christine
(Ann Michelle) has been hired for a weekend-long photo shoot, things slowly
evolve from saucy to satanic. After several more nude scenes—bath, shower,
photography session, and more—Christine and her younger sibling Betty (Vicki
Michelle) discover that their hosts for the weekend are a coven of witches. Yet
while the high priest claims he’s only interested in white magic, the aforementioned
lesbian, Sybil (Patricia Haines), wants to dabble in something darker.
Eventually, Christine is invited to a ceremony where she’s deflowered by the
high priest while the other witches go-go dance naked around the copulating
couple. Meanwhile, Betty’s boyfriend follows the sisters’ trail, fearing Betty
has gotten mixed up with something dangerous, so by the time he reaches the
estate, Christine has become consumed with whatever evil spirit controls the
coven. This leads to the finale, during which it’s Betty’s turn to get stripped
naked, slathered with oil, and serviced by the high priest while the other
witches go-go dance some more. Cue orgy intercut with violence, then roll
credits. Even though it features enough nudity for a porno movie—Ann Michelle
seems allergic to clothing—Virgin Witch
is incredibly dull. There’s no real story until halfway through the movie, the characterizations
are nonexistent, and scenes drag on forever. On the plus side, the two ritual
scenes have a certain sensationalistic appeal (think sexed-up riffs on Wicca),
and the go-go dancing is unintentionally hilarious.
Virgin Witch: LAME
1 comment:
I hadn't heard of this and may need to watch it. Ann Michelle also appeared in the truly unique British horror-comedy-biker-zombie-frogworshipping-hippie movie Psychomania (1973). Her sister Vicki later became famous in the UK for starring in the sitcom 'Allo 'Allo (1982-92).
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