Fungus scraped off the
bottom of the Sasquatch-cinema barrel, The
Capture of Bigfoot is a no-budget dud in which the redneck denizens of a
small, snow-shrouded town blame a string of murders on something called “The
Legendary Creature of Arak,” a white-haired Bigfoot/Yeti/whatever rumored by
Native Americans to haunt the mountains surrounding the town. During this
interminable movie, scheming entrepreneurs attempt to capture the monster for
purposes of financial exploitation, while police officers try to determine
whether the killings are the work of man or beast. Badly acted, incompetently
filmed, lazily edited, and padded with meandering bits like pointless party
scenes and unfunny “comedy” vignettes, this is one of those grade-Z creature
features that only contains about 10 minutes of actual monster action, so
trudging through the flick’s entire 92-minute sprawl is a monotonous chore none
but the masochistic should attempt. Toward the end of the picture, once “The
Legendary Creature of Arak” is finally captured, he/it is revealed to be a
neatly groomed giant with a smooth white coat, a pointy head, and a scowling
orange face; closely resembling the ridiculous “Mugatu” alien from the original
Star Trek series, this critter ain’t the
most formidable of beasties. Plus, the monster turns out to be
quasi-benevolent, which makes all the previous scenes depicting the creature as
a savage killer seem nonsensical in retrospect. And so it goes for the rest of
this abomination, which offers nothing in the way of amusement, entertainment,
novelty, or thrills.
The Capture of Bigfoot: SQUARE
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Paragraph breaks, sans serif font ... now you're good
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