Richard Pryor: Live in Concert (1979)

          Given the popularity of rock-concert movies in the ’70s, it was only a matter of time before some producer tried releasing a stand-up-comedy concert movie. Luckily for audiences, the canary in this particular coalmine was Richard Pryor: Live in Concert, which captures one of the greatest comedians of all time at the height of his powers. Shot at a theater in Long Beach, California, with the simplest possible visual style—mostly just one camera tracking Pryor as he bops around the stage—the picture is 78 minutes of pure foul-mouthed pleasure. Not every bit or line kills, but the overwhelming majority of the material is at least solid, energized by Pryor’s boundless energy, imagination, style, and talent. Few comedians painted more effective word pictures or slipped as gracefully in and out of characters as Pryor did, and few have found such a perfect synthesis of medium and message. For, while Pryor’s myriad jokes and monologues about race were not overtly political, per se, it’s no accident that at one point during Richard Pryor: Live in Concert, he gives a heartfelt shout-out to audience member Huey P. Newton. Similarly, the mildly subversive nature of Pryor’s act is plainly evident during the opening moments of the concert, when he skewers white people scrambling to their seats and marvels at the novelty of a black man performing in a decidedly pale-faced municipality just north of Orange County.

          Amazingly, Pryor manages to come across as endearing even when he’s at his most incendiary. In addition to making light of his then-recent arrest on drug-related charges, Pryor takes himself down a notch for moments in life when he stupidly succumbs to machismo. Yet not everything in Pryor’s act is edgy. He also gets tremendous mileage out of animal psychology, of all things, and he’s sincere—but still hilarious—while discussing the heart attack that took him out of circulation for a while in the late ’70s. All in all, Richard Pryor: Live in Concert stands as a testament to the man’s genius and honesty, even though it frankly references Pryor’s tragic penchant for self-destructive behavior. The comedian released two more concert movies, Richard Pryor: Live on the Sunset Strip (1982) and Richard Pryor: Here and Now (1983), both of which are darker than Live in Concert. (In Live on the Sunset Strip, for instance, Pryor talks about his notorious freebasing accident.) Thanks to its brevity, consistency, and simplicity, Live in Concert is arguably the best of the batch.

Richard Pryor: Live in Concert: GROOVY

The Clowns (1970)

          An oddity in Federico Fellini’s filmography, quasi-documentary The Clowns was made for Italian television but also released theatrically in Europe and the U.S. Part dramatization, part investigation, part memory play, and part phantasmagoria, the movie smothers its informational value with sonic and visual excess, and yet it’s not enough of a dreamlike experience to qualify as a full-on Fellini freakout. Like many of Fellini’s lesser efforts, it seems to reveal a director so preoccupied with his own mythology that he felt obligated to deliver voluptuous style whether or not voluptuous style was suitable to the project at hand. The movie isn’t so overbearing as to induce a screaming headache, but it’s close. And to say that The Clowns should contain fewer scenes of participants telling Fellini he’s wonderful would be an understatement. Anyway, the picture begins with a beautifully rendered scene that the filmmaker pulled from his past. As a little boy watches from his room late at night, a circus tent emerges seemingly from nowhere, since all the workers raising the tent are inside. The next day, the little boy wanders into the tent, encountering a magical world of animals, freaks, and, of course, clowns. Never one to leave well enough alone, Fellini quickly goes over the top at this point, presenting a parade of chalk-faced screamers who seem more monstrous than delightful. And, indeed, as the narration explains, Fellini was scared of clowns when he first saw them.

          Eventually, the film drifts into reportage about the history of clowns and the fading popularity of circuses in general. Fellini and his crew speak with ex-clowns, some of whom are still hams and some of whom seem like bitter men full of regret. The filmmakers also track down rare footage of early clowns in action. Overwhelming this valuable material is nonsense. In one staged vignette, Fellini encounters his La Dolce Vita leading lady, Anita Ekberg, while she tries to purchase a jungle cat as a pet. And throughout the picture, Fellini has a sexy blonde assistant stand in front of the camera to read narration like some sort of nonfiction-cinema siren. After being bludgeoned for 90 minutes with these sorts of distractions, as well as histrionic spectacle—including surrealistic performance sequences and a whole lot of World War II imagery—it’s tempting to ask why Fellini bothered exploring a topic that he clearly felt needed bells and whistles in order to sustain interest. Had the director gotten out of his own way and simply presented the world of clowns without adornment, The Clowns might have been less distinctive. Yet it might also have been more memorable and useful.

The Clowns: FUNKY

Secrets (1971)

          A psychological drama that’s neither psychologically revelatory nor dramatically interesting, the European-made Secrets might never have reached American screens, because it’s hard to imagine U.S. viewers getting excited about 92 minutes of poorly written and sloppily filmed ennui. However, British actress Jacqueline Bisset unexpectedly transitioned from decorative starlet to full-fledged sex symbol thanks to The Deep (1977), a box-office hit that prominently featured the voluptuous Bisset wearing a wet T-shirt. Secrets, which was originally titled Adultery, features Bisset nude in one scene, so the film’s producers unleashed the film on the American market in early 1978, bogusly marketing the picture as erotica. Bisset, understandably, was not pleased. Cowritten and directed by Englishman Philip Saville, the picture stars Bisset as Jennifer Wood, a bored housewife whose husband, Allan (Robert Powell), is a failed actor reluctantly pursuing an office job. While Allan trudges through an all-day job interview, Jennifer ditches their preteen daughter, Judy (Tarka Kings). Then Jennifer wanders around a city park and mopes, eventually meeting a wealthy middle-aged man named Raoul Kramer (Per Oscarsson). He talks Jennifer into visiting his nearby home.

          Turns out Raoul is a widower, and Jennifer is a doppelganger of his dead wife. As the afternoon unfolds, Saville tediously cuts back and forth between the activities of Allan, Jennifer, and Judy. Allan fumbles the interview but flirts with his interviewer, Beatrice (Shirley Knight). Jennifer dresses up like Raoul’s dead wife and sleeps with him. Judy hangs out with a neighbor, who gives her a plant. Except for some pretentious dialogue and voiceover, that’s all that happens in Secrets, and even the heavily marketed nude scene is underwhelming. Bisset is indeed exposed and glorious, but the scene comprises tame postcoital cuddling, and it’s unpleasant to watch the 17-years-older Oscarsson manhandle Bisset. Secrets isn’t smut, but Saville’s filmmaking is so inept—and the portrayals are so trite—that the movie is deeply boring. Worse, the knowledge of how Bisset’s participation was misrepresented gives the movie a distasteful quality; what the actress undoubtedly presumed to be grown-up drama somehow morphed into lurid exploitation.

Secrets: LAME

The Doberman Gang (1972) & The Daring Dobermans (1973) & The Amazing Dobermans (1976)

          Perhaps the only thing harder to believe than the existence of three crime procedurals about dogs committing robberies is that the Walt Disney Company had nothing to do with the pictures. Rather than being family-friendly romps, these pictures are dramas with comedic elements, and in fact the first one includes a bloody mauling—not exactly the stuff of normal G-rated fare. Although the Doberman movies aren’t particularly well-crafted, suffering from indifferent direction and weak acting, the scripts have a certain methodical quality. The people behind the series were producer David Chudnow and his son, TV-editor-turned-feature-director Byron Ross Chudnow, though the real credit should go to the various animal trainers involved in the series. While onscreen dog behavior is juiced through editing (thereby hiding from viewers offscreen commands and/or interludes between different stunts), the canines’ seemingly endless bag of tricks is impressive.

          The first movie, The Doberman Gang, follows the exploits of career criminal Eddie (Byron Mabe), who wants a foolproof means of pulling heists. After watching security dogs take down invaders at a junkyard, he concocts the idea of training dogs to commit robberies. Eddie enlists the aid of Barney (Hal Reed), a U.S. Air Force animal trainer, by claiming that he wants to start a legitimate training business with Barney. After spending weeks training six Dobermans at a remote location alongside Eddie, Eddie’s girlfriend (Julie Parrish), and two of Eddie’s thuggish ex-con pals, Barney gets hip to what’s happening. Then the relationship among the conspirators starts to unravel in predictable ways. Attempts at wit in The Amazing Dobermans are anemic, such as naming the dogs after famous criminals (Bonnie, Clyde, Dillinger, etc.), and the songs played during dreary montages are truly terrible. Still, the lengthy heist scene is exciting simply because of novelty, and the Chudnows thrown in enough twists to keep things moving along.

          Without giving away the ending of the first film, it’s enough to say that at the beginning of The Daring Dobermans, the dogs are on the loose, still carrying loot from the big heist. Law-enforcement officials and vigilantes search in vain for the animals, but working-stiff buddies Greg (David Moses), Steve (Charles Robinson), and Warren (Tim Considine) hit the jackpot. Greg uses an oscillator to create high-pitched frequencies in order to summon the dogs. Overcome with greed, the dudes decide to train the Dobermans for a new mission, even building a facility out in the desert. This attracts the attention of Billy (Claudio Martinez), a poor Native American youth who likes animals and, initially, doesn’t realize the men are planning a crime. The plot of The Daring Dobermans is even more outlandish than that of the first film, and the characterizations are just as thin. However, like its predecessor, The Daring Dobermans comes alive, somewhat, during the big heist. Further, the picture largely avoids the cute-kid stuff one might expect from the Billy storyline, opting instead to employ Billy as a mirror reflecting the awfulness of the lead characters. (The human ones, that is—the Dobermans, as always, are blameless.)

          A jolt of star power wasn’t nearly enough to justify the existence of the next installment, The Amazing Dobermans. Rather than continuing the story of the previous films, The Amazing Dobermans casts five dogs as new “characters.” As for the two-legged cast, tanned and vapid James Franciscus stars as Lucky, a low-rent con man on the run from  loan sharks. He’s rescued from attackers by kindly and religious Daniel (Fred Astaire), an ex-con who learned animal handling while in prison and now travels the country with his five dogs, hiring out the team for security work. Later, when Lucky befriends circus clown Samson (Billy Barty), Lucky recruits Daniel and his canines to form a new circus act. Concurrently, Lucky romances Justine (Barbara Eden), who performs a horse-riding act in the circus. All this stuff comes together in a convoluted heist/sting sequence. The Amazing Dobermans is the dullest of the three flicks, especially when composer Alan Silvestri scores montages with hideous disco/lounge jams, and the movie’s tepid light comedy is hard to take. Franciscus does his damnedest to sell the whole enterprise, Eden looks attractive in her spangly bikini costumes, and Astaire somehow retains his dignity. But seeing as how the “highlight” of The Amazing Dobermans is a dog performing a high-wire act, it’s clear the series had run its course—and then some.

          Nonetheless, the talented canines returned in the made-for-TV flick Alex and the Doberman Gang (1980), again directed by Byron Ross Chudnow.

The Doberman Gang: FUNKY

The Daring Dobermans: FUNKY

The Amazing Dobermans: FUNKY

Sitting Target (1972)

          Intense, minimalistic, and taut, the UK thriller Sitting Target showcases the singular British actor Oliver Reed at his most primal. Playing a man seething with rage and yet ultimately driven by deeper passions that don’t become evident until the very end of the story, Reed maintains an amazing level of ferocity from the first frame to the last. Make no mistake, Sitting Target is a violent revenge saga filled with chase scenes, explosions, and shootouts. Within those parameters, however, it’s credible and effective. Freddie Jones, Ian McShane, and Edward Woodward deliver excellent supporting performances while director Douglas Hickox and cinematographer Edward Scalfe employ consistently imaginative camera angles and film editor John Glen (a frequent participant in 007 movies) creates expert pacing. Best of all, the film seems quite straightforward until the aforementioned ending, which casts everything that came before in a new light. In sum, Sitting Target is more than just adrenalized escapism.

          Reed stars as Harry, a career criminal serving a long term in jail alongside fellow crook Birdy (McShane). The filmmakers introduce Harry perfectly, showing him performing a brutal exercise regimen in his dark cell—he’s perpetually ready for action. One day, Harry’s wife, Pat (Jill St. John), visits him in jail with terrible news. He’s lost his appeal, meaning he’ll be imprisoned for years. Making matters worse, Pat reveals that she’s leaving Harry for another man, whose baby she now carries. Harry responds by smashing his hand through the glass separating him from Pat and nearly strangling her to death. Determined to exact revenge for her betrayal, Harry arranges to break out of jail with Birdy and wealthy crook MacNeil (Jones). The escape sequence is terrific, generating real danger and tension while illustrating fundamental differences between the escapees. Once news of Harry’s jailbreak spreads, policeman Milton (Woodward) assumes responsibility for Pat’s safety. A cat-and-mouse game ensues, because for Harry, it’s not enough to destroy Pat. He wants her to know what’s coming.

          Sitting Target is far from perfect. A subplot of Birdy and Harry harassing a former colleague for money chews up screen time, and one scene hinges on Harry shooting a target from an enormous distance with a pistol, which seems iffy. That said, the pros outweigh the cons, no pun intended. The action scenes are strong, the overall atmosphere is believably grim, and the sheer level of testosterone surging through the movie’s veins is incredible. St. John is the weak link, giving a decorative performance and rendering a questionable British accent, though she doesn’t diminish the overall impact. FYI, UK actor Frank Finlay shares a few scenes with Reed. Not long afterward, the players joined forces for Richard Lester’s superlative adventure films The Three Musketeers (1973) and The Four Musketeers (1974).

Sitting Target: GROOVY

UFO: Target Earth (1974)

Quite possibly the worst example of the speculative-fiction boom that paralleled mid-’70s fascination with all things otherworldly, UFO: Target Earth is a lifeless and nonsensical melodrama about a technician who investigates weird transmissions and eventually connects with some sort of alien presence that’s been hidden on Earth for hundreds of years. Since absolutely nothing of interest happens for the first hour of the movie, the only things about UFO: Target Earth worth mentioning occur during the “climax,” so read no further if you want this singularly underwhelming cinematic experience to remain unspoiled. In the wacky final sequences of UFO: Target Earth, our bland hero, Alan Grimes (played, zombie-like, by Nick Plakias), has a long psychic conversation with an alien that manifests as some sort of low-tech video waveform. The alien explains, in exhaustingly literal detail, that Alan is one of only four human beings ever to sufficiently “transcend” humanity that they can understand alien concepts. As a reward for his achievement of—well, whatever the hell it is that he’s achieved—Alan is asked to sacrifice himself and thereby give the alien (or aliens) the energy that he (or it or they) need in order to return to his (or its or their) home planet (or galaxy or whatever). It’s quite an accomplishment on the part of writer/producer/director Michael A. DeGaetano to fill the final stretch of UFO: Target Earth with explanatory dialogue and still leave the plot almost completely undecipherable. And it’s not as if the storyline is the only problem, because the acting, cinematography, dialogue, sets, and special effects are all substandard, as well. Incredibly, DeGaetano managed to raise money for two more features after this one, which should have been a career-killer.

UFO: Target Earth: SQUARE

King: A Filmed Record . . . Montgomery to Memphis (1970)

          Originally exhibited as a one-night-only theatrical event, this massive documentary about the civil-rights odyssey of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. comprises chronologically ordered and expertly edited newsreel footage of key moments along King’s journey. As the title suggests, the picture begins in 1955, when King rose to national prominence by leading protests in Montgomery, Alabama, stemming from Rosa Parks’ bold defiance of a racist busing policy. King: A Filmed Record then depicts such iconic moments as King’s incarceration in Montgomery, where he wrote one of his most famous essays; his elegant responses to bombings and other violence committed by pro-segregation extremists; the March on Washington, including the historic “I Have a Dream” speech; King’s receipt of the Nobel Peace Prize; the marches through Selma, Alabama, that forced the intervention of the U.S. government on behalf of civil-rights activists; and, finally, King’s funeral after his assassination in Memphis in 1968.

          Eschewing narration, the film mostly lets archival footage stand on its own, although the project’s producer, Ely Landau, enlisted a number of noteworthy Hollywood liberals to appear on camera and read encomiums about King and/or pointed literary excerpts related to the never-ending struggle for equality and freedom. Stars participating in the project include Harry Belafonte, Ruby Dee, Ben Gazzara, Charlton Heston, James Earl Jones, Burt Lancaster, Paul Newman, Anthony Quinn, Clarence Williams III, and Joanne Woodward. (Most are onscreen for a minute or less.) Adding to the project’s Hollywood pedigree is the quiet participation of directors Sidney Lumet and Joseph L. Mankiewicz, who presumably filmed the celebrity testimonials. King: A Filmed Record is a long movie, running three hours and featuring an intermission after the “I Have a Dream” speech, but the length works in the project’s favor. Beyond the historical value in compiling so many of King’s important achievements, the piece celebrates the incredible power of King’s oratory while never losing sight of context. The film’s editors often juxtapose shots of press conferences and speeches with harrowing footage of human-rights violations, as well as images that show pain tracking across the faces of everyday African-Americans who bear silent witness to pointless degradation.

          Hovering over the whole experience of King: A Filmed Record is the heartbreaking knowledge of how King’s life ended. Every scene of the great man calling for dignity is tinged with the awareness of looming danger. Yet as King himself said in a prophetic speech that was played during his funeral, the survival of the dream was more important than the survival of the man. A tribute to both, King: A Filmed Record remains just as necessary and relevant as ever. Nominated for an Oscar as Best Documentary Feature, King: A Filmed Record was entered into the Library of Congress’ National Film Registry in 1999.

King: A Filmed Record . . . Montgomery to Memphis: RIGHT ON

The Main Event (1979)

          Barbra Streisand returned from a three-year screen hiatus to executive-produce, star in, and perform the theme song of the boxing-themed romantic comedy The Main Event. She also hedged her bets by recruiting costar Ryan O’Neal, hoping to recapture the box-office success and onscreen chemistry they enjoyed with 1972’s What’s Up, Doc? Alas, despite slick production values and energetic performances by both leading actors, The Main Event suffers from a bloated running time and a weak storyline, to say nothing of the hideous perm and shrill characterization that Streisand inflicted upon herself. (Some blame must fall to fellow executive producer Jon Peters, the ex-hairdresser who was the diva’s boyfriend at the time, but nobody puts Babsy in a corner.) Except for those who find the notion of Streisand screeching and whining for two hours distasteful, The Main Event is watchable. However, it’s not the least bit memorable or unique.

          Streisand plays Hilary Kramer, a perfume-industry executive who falls on hard times when her business manager embezzles her fortune. Hilary’s last remaining asset is the employment contract for Eddie “Kid Natural” Scanlon (O’ Neal), a prizefighter of dubious credentials. Turns out Hilary’s business manager bought the contract as a tax scam, offering Eddie a lavish salary for not fighting. After informing Eddie that he can reimburse her or face criminal charges for his participation in the tax-evasion scheme, Hilary pushes Eddie back into the ring for a series of fights. All the while, the two strike romantic sparks, much to the chagrin of Eddie’s vulgar girlfriend, Donna (Patti D’Arbanville).

          There’s a lot wrong with the script, credited to sitcom pros Gail Parent and Andrew Smith. Beyond the flaccid nature of the banter, one-liners, and slapstick gags, the film lacks a proper villain—which it badly needs—and the arc of the main characters’ relationship is so trite that it’s boring to watch Eddie and Hilary transition from enemies to lovers. Making matters worse, insipid chauvinist-vs.-feminist rhetoric gets shoehorned into the old-fashioned story. Among other complications this creates, it’s tricky to reconcile the feminist material with endless ogling shots of Streisand’s rear end—one of which tellingly appears in tandem with Peters’ producing credit. O’Neal and Streisand both try valiantly to energize limp dialogue, and they look fantastic (notwithstanding that damn perm). Is that enough to merit slogging through The Main Event? That depends on viewers’ interest in the actors, since The Main Event offers little more than pure star power.

The Main Event: FUNKY

The Hospital (1971)

          Speaking as a cineaste, a devotee of ’70s film, and a screenwriter, I’m about to commit an act of heresy by admitting that I don’t dig The Hospital, which netted Paddy Chayefsky one of his three writing Oscars. While I understand the use of dark satire to skewer the foibles of the medical industry—and, on a larger scale, the foibles of bureaucracy and capitalism run amok—I’ve watched The Hospital twice at very different times in my life, and on both occasions I’ve found the movie to be cold, pretentious, and tiresome. Seeing as how Chayefsky’s writing was singled out for praise, it’s possible my reaction stems from a problem of execution. Arthur Hiller’s sloppy camerawork and undisciplined dramaturgy prevents a clear point of view from coalescing, so he seems lost as the story zooms back and forth between tonalities.

          Proving that giving an ambitious Chayevsky script a pleasing shape wasn’t impossible, Sidney Lumet made a masterpiece from Chayefsky’s next opus, Network (1976). Many of the outrageous narrative maneuvers that make Network so wonderful are present in The Hospital, but they don’t work nearly as well. The omniscient narration, the religious allegory, the spectacular monologues—whereas these elements feel germane to the coherent lunacy of Network, they contribute to making The Hospital feel scattershot. The Hospital is not without its virtues, of course, because George C. Scott’s leading performance is impassioned, and the movie’s dialogue vibrates with Chayefsky’s unique blend of indignation and intellectualism (even though all of the characters sound identical). Furthermore, the best jabs at the medical industry land with tremendous impact. Taken as a whole, however, The Hospital is contrived, episodic, long-winded, and underwhelming.

          The picture is set at a fictional Manhattan hospital, which is perpetually surrounded by protestors, some of whom also work at the facility. Chief of Medicine Dr. Herbert Bock (Scott) is a suicidal drunk reeling from a divorce, and therefore emotionally unprepared for a series of crises. One by one, doctors and nurses start dying as a result of absurd mix-ups—injections given to the wrong patients, sick people pushed aside and “forgotten to death,” and so on. Herbert’s life takes a turn when he meets Barbara Drummond (Diana Rigg), the daughter of an eccentric patient. A hippie involved with Native American mysticism, she tries to remove her father from the hospital, sparking many debates about the efficacy of Herbert’s management. Other subplots include the travails of one Dr. Welbeck (Richard Dysart), a snobbish surgeon who has incorporated himself in order to prioritize money over medicine. All of these things come together in wild ways. A serial killer stalks the hospital’s halls. Herbert confesses self-destructive thoughts to a shrink, nearly injects himself with lethal chemicals, and overcomes impotence by raping Barbara.
          In one of the film’s least pleasing developments, Barbara interprets Herbert’s sexual assault as an act of love. Suffice to say the film is not as sharp on women’s issues as it is on economics and medical ethics.

          While The Hospital is all over the place in terms of mood and themes, Scott is incredible, even if the script requires him to exclaim “Oh, my God!” a few too many times, and the supporting cast is filled with lively players. Beyond Dysart and Rigg, The Hospital features Roberts Blossom, Stockard Channing, Stephen Elliot, Katherine Hellmond, Barnard Hughes, Nancy Marchand, Frances Sternhagen, and Robert Walden. Moreover, the movie has unquestionable literary quality, and it’s a meticulously researched examination of a worthy topic. Yet it’s also bewildering and strident and ugly. Still, what else could be expected from a self-proclaimed examination of “the whole wounded madness of our times”? Happily, Chayefsky found a perfect vessel for his op-ed rage in his next project.

The Hospital: FUNKY

Night Call Nurses (1972)

          Roger Corman’s New World Pictures continued its drab cycle of sexy-nurse movies with this third installment, another ensemble drama about the interconnected misadventures of pretty young RNs. George Armitage, who wrote and directed the previous film in the series, Private Duty Nurses (1971), penned the screenplay for this installment, and fellow New World worker bee Jonathan Kaplan made his directorial debut on the project. Somewhat redeemed by flashes of whimsical humor—as well as satirical looks at group therapy and the growth of the pharmaceutical industry—the movie is tolerable but hardly compelling. Despite the title, the nurses actually work with psychiatric patients; perhaps Corman and co. felt Psych Ward Nurses wouldn’t have quite the same box-office allure. Anyway, our heroines are Barbara (Patty Byrne), a troubled young brunette wrestling with a stalker and with a lascivious therapist; Janis (Alana Hamilton), a perky blonde who becomes involved with a trucker after he’s hospitalized during a bad acid trip; and Sandra (Mittie Lawrence), an idealsitic African-American persuaded by her activist boyfriend to help spring a black-power militant leader from the heavily guarded room where he’s receiving medical care.

          As with all of the sexy-nurse movies, Night Call Nurses is padded with empty spectacle. In addition to a dull skydiving sequence, there’s an endless scene of young women stripping during a group-therapy session, ostensibly to throw off their inhibitions. Amid the repetitive nonsense, however, are some enjoyable moments. Once in a while, for instance, Armitage inserts some of his signature offbeat humor. Kyle (Richard Young), the wigged-out trucker, courts Janis by pointing to the name tag on her uniform. “Janis—is that your name or the name of your left tittie?” Giggling, she replies, “That’s my name—the name of my left tittie’s Irene.” Sophisticated? Hardly. Droll by comparison with the rest of the movie? Sure. There’s also a somewhat amusing scene in which a sleazy drug salesman tries to peddle unnecessary medication, only to be stymied by a nurse who brings up the pesky issue of medical ethics. The movie takes an abrupt left turn into pure Corman territory toward the end, climaxing with an escape, a car chase, and a bloody shootout. One suspects the people at New World realized the novelty of nurses providing carnal TLC wasn’t enough to sustain interest across multiple movies, hence the choice to throw in random exploitation elements, whether they fit or not.

Night Call Nurses: FUNKY

A Walk in the Spring Rain (1970)

          Notwithstanding Anthony Quinn’s inexplicable casting as a Tennessee native and the unexplained presence of Ingrid Bergman’s Swedish accent, A Walk in the Spring Rain is a passable romantic melodrama. Both actors are strong enough to surmount their miscasting, and the combination of a relatively brisk storyline with resplendent location photography keeps the picture palatable. That said, deep problems permeate A Walk in the Spring Rain. For the first hour or so, the picture is almost completely bereft of dramatic conflict, meaning that the weight of the film falls on entirely on Bergman’s shoulders as she depicts the anguish of a woman torn between her fuddy-duddy husband and a charming stranger. Concurrently, Elmer Bernstein’s score is so chaotic that it ruins the efficacy of many scenes. During stable moments, Bernstein provides straightforward emotional string accents. Yet he also punctuates scenes with virile horn signatures better suited to an action movie, and he periodically employs strange juxtapositions of, say, organ chirps and unidentifiable honking noises. Had the film’s narrative been stronger, these musical excesses wouldn’t have been so noticeable, but sizable stretches of the picture comprise aimless montages and/or silly vignettes of (wait for it) Bergman drinking moonshine and/or imitating the bleating vocalizations of goats.

          The very thin basic story is as follows—when college professor Roger Meredith (Fritz Weaver) and his wife, Libby (Bergman), temporarily relocate from New York to Tennessee so Roger can write a textbook, Libby falls for rugged and upbeat handyman Will (Quinn), even though he’s married to the mousy Ann (Virginia Gregg). Predictable complications ensue, but not with enough frequency or impact. Among the underdeveloped tropes is the relationship between Libby and her daughter, Ellen (Katherine Crawford), who perceives Libby as nothing but a readily available babysitter for Ellen’s young son. Although there’s a smidgen of proto-feminist ideology buried inside A Walk in the Spring Rain, the movie is really about the novelty of middle-aged people experiencing romantic passion. Bergman finds abundant pathos and truth in the material, whereas Quinn toggles between cutesy shtick and overwrought melodrama. Writer-producer Stirling Silliphant, whose massive output for film and television includes as much hackery as it does serious endeavors, adapted the movie from a book by Rachel Maddux, and it’s hard to tell whether he envisioned a grown-up drama or a treacly soap. At various times, A Walk in the Spring Rain is both.

A Walk in the Spring Rain: FUNKY

1980 Week: Saturn 3

          One of the strangest projects to emerge from the post-Star Wars sci-fi boom, this British production featuring American leading actors is part adventure saga, part horror show, part love story, and part mystery thriller. It also features one of the most unlikely combinations of stars in movie history: Aging he-man Kirk Douglas shares the screen with sun-kissed TV beauty Farrah Fawcett and New York-trained Method actor Harvey Keitel. That is, unless one counts the hulking robot who features prominently in the story as a costar. Set in the future, the picture begins when a mystery man kills a fellow space pilot in order to commandeer a shuttle delivering supplies to a scientific outpost on one of Saturn’s moons. The sole occupants of the outpost are Adam (Douglas), who is tasked with growing crops because Earth can no longer manufacture sufficient food, and Adam’s assistant/lover, Alex (Fawcett). Her origins are never made clear, though the implication is that she was provided to Adam as a sexual plaything. When the mystery man arrives, he reveals himself as Benson (Keitel), and says that his mission is to build a robot that can increase productivity at Saturn 3 (the name of the outpost).

          Adam and Alex are rattled by the change to their status quo, since they dig their quiet life—and who can blame them, since they seem to spend more time changing costumes and having sex than they do conducting experiments. Eventually, Adam and Alex realize that Benson is a psycho. Their first clue is when Benson jabs a metallic probe into a slot that he’s installed in the back of his neck, and uses it to psychically control the robot. Benson causes even more trouble when he announces his desire to sleep with Alex. Before long, things devolve into full-on violence once the robot gains a degree of autonomy, so Adam and Alex have to deal with two predators at once.

          Unlikely as it may seem, Saturn 3 was directed by Stanley Donen of Singin’ in the Rain fame, and to say that he’s got no feel for horror and/or sci-fi is to make a great understatement. Although certain individual scenes are handled well enough, including the introduction of Benson’s psychic link with the robot and a lengthy chase sequence, Donen fails to generate credibility or tension. Things in Saturn 3 just sort of happen, and Donen seems far more concerned with showing off the film’s elaborate production design than with telling a proper story. (Incredibly, the script was penned by acclaimed British novelist Martin Amis.) It doesn’t help that the acting is awful or that impatient editing rushes the story along at a distractingly frenetic pace.

          Douglas was well into the self-parody phase of his career, Fawcett seems as if she was lobotomized before filming, and Keitel—whose voice was replaced with that of another actor during postproduction—gives a more robotic performance than the actual robot. Nonetheless, fans of vintage sci-fi will find many things to enjoy, thanks to the colorful visuals and the surprising incidents of extreme violence. Plus, seeing as how the story ultimately becomes completely nonsensical, it’s possible to watch Saturn 3 as an accidental comedy. (There’s a reason why the picture earned three Razzie Award nominations.) Oh, and for those who fall under Saturn 3’s weird spell—or for those who simply crave another chance to ogle the lovely Ms. Fawcett—it’s worth surfing the Web for an infamous deleted scene featuring Douglas and Fawcett simulating a sexy drug trip, because Douglas’ goofy acting is as stunning as Fawcett’s slutty costume.

Saturn 3: FUNKY

1980 Week: Friday the 13th

          Despite its ample cinematic merits, John Carpenter’s Halloween (1978) had an insidious influence on the film industry, because the film’s easily replicated narrative formula—combined with Halloween’s massive commercial success—inspired countless imitators. Of those subsequent films, Friday the 13th is the most significant for one simple reason: It proved that deficiencies in imagination and quality were not impediments for repeating Halloween’s box-office performance. After all, similar 1980 releases including He Knows You’re Alone, Prom Night, and Terror Train all made money, but none of them inspired deathless franchises, perhaps because none stole so shamelessly from Halloween. Twelve movies, one TV series, and innumerable ancillary products later, the Friday the 13th series and its signature monster, hockey-masked Jason Voorhees, are still going strong. All that being said, the original Friday the 13th, produced and directed by the singularly unimpressive Sean S. Cunningham, is a dimwitted, gruesome, puritanical, repetitive, trite schlockfest.

          Copping the basic shape of Halloween—without matching that film’s unique power, style, and themes—Friday the 13th follows the slasher-film playbook of a psycho systematically killing horny teenagers until a final showdown occurs between the killer and the inevitable lone survivor. What makes Friday the 13th so uninteresting is that the film contains nothing but the slasher-film playbook. This is paint-by-numbers horror cinema. Literally the only distinctive element of the picture is Henry Manfredini’s score, which steals bits from the work of Bernard Hermann and John Williams but also adds signature vocalizations (“ki-ki-ki, ma-ma-ma”).

          The plot, such as it is, begins with a brief prologue set in 1958. Two young counselors at Camp Crystal Lake leave a party to have sex. Then an unseen individual kills them. Two decades later, several young people converge on Camp Crystal Lake, which is set to reopen for the first time since the tragedy. The same unseen individual kills these newcomers, usually while they’re in the midst of having sex, until the murderer’s identity is revealed. (Spoiler alert!) Although Jason Voorhees emerged as the main antagonist in the series during Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), he’s not the main culprit here, meaning no hockey mask—that prop didn’t show up until the godwaful Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982). On a technical level, Friday the 13th is passable, with competent cinematography and some half-decent acting. (Watch for a young Kevin Bacon as one of the horny victims.) More than anything, however, Friday the 13th is just plain dumb, the film’s brainless rhythms offering hints of just how stupid later entries in the franchise would become.

Friday the 13th: LAME

1980 Week: Nine to Five

          Throughout the late ’70s, Jane Fonda performed a remarkable feat of synthesizing her acting and her activism, serving as producer (sometimes uncredited) for the Vietnam-vet drama Coming Home (1978), the nuclear-meltdown thriller The China Syndrome (1979), and this comedy, which brought to light the gender inequity plaguing American workplaces. At first glance, Nine to Five might seem lightweight compared to its predecessors in Fonda’s producing oeuvre, but treating the theme with humor proved a savvy move because it attracted a wide audience. The picture earned more than $100 million at the domestic box office at a time when that was still a rare achievement, and now Nine to Five is considered something of a modern classic. The picture even inspired a TV series, which ran sporadically from 1982 to 1988, as well as a 2009 Broadway musical.

          Cowritten and directed by Colin Higgins, who embellished a previous script by Patricia Resnick, the picture takes place in a midlevel department of fictional firm Consolidated Companies. The department’s boss is Franklin Hart Jr. (Dabney Coleman), whom female employees rightly characterize as a “sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot.” Throughout the picture’s first act, Hart earns the enmity of protagonists Judy Bernly (Fonda), Violet Newstead (Lily Tomlin), and Doralee Rhodes (Dolly Parton). Franklin berates new employee Judy for incompetence, showing no sympathy for the fact that her post at Consolidated is the recent divorcée’s first job. He steals work product from Violet and blocks her well-deserved promotion. And he sexually harasses the buxom Doralee, bolstering his macho reputation by fomenting bogus rumors that they’re sleeping together. One evening, the women drown their sorrows and share revenge fantasies, which Higgins stages as elaborate dream sequences. Then a farcical showdown occurs during which Violent (mistakenly) believes that she’s poisoned Franklin.

          A few plot twists later, the women find themselves holding Franklin hostage in his own home while trying to gather evidence that will entrap him and therefore free the women from suspicion.

          As he demonstrated with ’70s hits Foul Play and Silver Streak, Higgins had a unique gift for orchestrating comedies with Swiss-watch storylines. Nine to Five is far-fetched and silly, but everything in the plot is worked out neatly. Ultimately, however, the narrative is merely a vessel for the theme: Nine to Five is a fairy tale for female professionals. Fonda, drifting back to the sort of light comedy she did in many of her earliest films, uses her performance to tell a story about self-actualization, letting her costars take the showier roles. Parton nearly steals the picture with her down-home charm, Tomlin grounds the film with a deadpan approach to jokes, and Coleman makes a great cartoonish villain. Despite its sociopolitical heft Nine to Five is consistently gentle and undemanding. Like the theme song that Parton wrote and recorded during production, which subsequently became a No. 1 pop hit, Nine to Five is a sugar-coated rallying cry.

Nine to Five: GROOVY

1980 Week: Hopscotch

          So dry that it’s barely a comedy, and yet so irreverent that it’s most definitely not a drama, the winning Hopscotch offers a wry depiction of Cold War-era spycraft. In fact, the most delightful aspect of the movie is the way it treats international espionage as a big business rife with the same sort of bureaucratic inefficiency, professional jealousy, and small-minded vendettas that plague every other industry. Walter Matthau, showcasing the loveable-scamp aspect of his screen persona instead of the rumpled-grouch aspect, plays Miles Kendig, a CIA operative whom we meet on the job in Europe. An old pro who sees all the angles and casually makes deals with his KGB counterpart, Yaskov (Herbert Lom), Kendig has become a relic from the era of gentleman spies. Returning to Washington, he’s belittled and demoted by his crude but politically connected superior, Myerson (Ned Beatty). The idea of taking a desk job doesn’t work for Kendig, however, so he discreetly shreds his personnel file, slips out of CIA headquarters, and returns to Europe so he can be with his on-again/off-again girlfriend, Isobel von Schonenberg (Glenda Jackson), and plot his playful revenge against Myerson.

          Kendig starts writing a tell-all book about his life as a secret agent, sending copies of early chapters to prominent figures in the global intelligence community. As intended, the book makes Kendig a wanted man, so he commences a merry chase around the globe with the goal of humiliating Myerson as utterly as possible. Employing arcane knowledge, fake passports, and old spy-community contacts, Kendig “hops” back and forth between various locations in America and Europe, leaving clues that mock Myerson and other agents for their inability to catch up with a seasoned veteran. Meanwhile, Kendig keeps sending chapters of the book, with new secrets revealed on each page and the threat of the explosive final chapter lingering over everyone involved.

          Deftly written by Bryan Forbes and Bryan Garfield (based on a novel by Garfield), Hopscotch is the sort of lighthearted romp that’s designed to generate perpetual amusement, rather than laugh-out-loud hilarity, so viewers expecting slapstick or verbal fireworks will be disappointed. Similarly, anyone hoping for a replay of the bickering-lovers sparks that Jackson and Matthau struck in House Calls (1978) is due for a letdown, since the actors play characters who are cheerfully conjoined from the beginning of the story to the end. Yet within these diminished expectations, Hopscotch provides a thoroughly pleasurable viewing experience. Director Ronald Neame shoots locations beautifully, the story provides innumerable twists stemming from Kendig’s incredible resourcefulness, and the acting is terrific. Beatty strikes the right balance between buffoonery and competence, Jackson comes across as clever and worldly, Lom is appealingly urbane, Matthau is appropriately rascally, and costar Sam Waterston (as Kendig’s protégé/pursuer) lends a charming quality of conflicted compassion.

Hopscotch: GROOVY