American International Pictures might as well have
titled this lowbrow comedy Boobs in the
Boondocks, because it’s nothing more than a compendium of cleavage shots,
demure nude scenes, and insulting redneck clichés. Some elements are executed
with borderline competence, and the story basically makes sense from start to
finish, but beyond that it’s hard to identify virtues except for the attractiveness
of leading lady Lindsay Bloom. In other words, if you want a serving of
Southern-fried stupidity with a side of smut, Sixpack Annie is the movie for you. The narrative concerns
small-town waitress Annie Bodean (Bloom), who must raise money to save her
family’s greasy-spoon diner from bankruptcy. Annie decides her best hope is
sleeping with a rich man for cash, so she works her way through locals to no
avail, then hooks up with her older sister, big-city hooker Flora (Louisa
Moritz), for help identifying prospects in Miami. Accompanying all of this
sleaze is inept slapstick—there’s literally a banana-peel gag—and horny
dialogue so crude it barely deserves to be called innuendo. (Sample lyric from
the movie’s execrable theme song: “Bang, bang, the whole dang town would love
to bang Annie down.”) Director Graydon F. David, who wisely never made another
movie, shoots the picture lifelessly, the script is idiotic, and the movie
regularly stops dead for extended bits like comedian Stubby Kaye’s hackneyed
traveling-salesman routine. Since none of this is actually funny,
the main attraction is Bloom, who is pretty and shapely even though she sports
a tacky blonde dye job throughout the picture; while she’s not especially
skilled as an actress, Bloom exhibits believable sass and tries hard to make
terrible jokes work. FYI, future TV star Bruce Boxleitner appears briefly as
Annie’s boyfriend. (Available
as part of the MGM Limited Collection on Amazon.com)
Sixpack
Annie: LAME
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