Mexican shlockmeister René Cardona Jr. strikes
again with this lurid Jaws rip-off
about a mammoth tiger shark preying upon sexy singles near a Mexican beach
resort. The movie is abysmal, of course, but Tintorera delivers the goods in three respects—it’s gory as hell,
the production values are better than one normally expects from Cardona, and
there’s an enormous amount of nudity. Cheap thrills aside, however, Tintorera is a painful to watch because
of the stupidity on display both in front of and behind the camera. The
characterizations range from nonexistent to superficial; the story is a muddled
blend of horror and melodrama; the picture features several distasteful scenes
of real animals being killed; and the dialogue is marred by bad acting, ghastly
writing, and (for actors not native to English) sloppy dubbing. The narrative
revolves around two Mexican studs, Miguel (Andrés García) and Steven (Hugo
Stiglitz), who make their living as shark hunters near a resort. The studs hook
up with a sexy British tourist, Gabriella (Susan George), for an idyllic period
of hookups and threesomes. Tintorera
is basically just a compendium of scenes featuring attractive people screwing,
stripping, and swimming, and once in a while the shark shows up for a snack.
Further, it seems as if the studs are the only people who get the idea of
fighting back, even though the shark’s body count is astronomical. The vibe of Tintorera is weirdly lackadaisical, although
the intensity of the gore occasionally demands attention; scenes of a shark
with someone’s head in its teeth, and of the dismembered lower half of a human
body floating to the bottom of the ocean, are particularly realistic. Yet the
kills aren’t the least bit scary, especially because Cardona employs a
ridiculous device of playing heavy breathing on the soundtrack whenever the shark
approaches a victim. Huh? Still, for those who care about such things, the
movie’s eye-candy quotient is significant, with starlets Priscilla Barnes,
George, and especially Fiona Lewis generously sharing their physical gifts.
Even the actors playing the studs get into the exhibitionist act.
Tintorera:
LAME
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