Nearly all the elements
that made the glossy detective series Charlie’s
Angels popular are present in the feature-length telefilm that preceded the
weekly show, and yet some early ideas that were later abandoned are in
evidence, as well. The pilot is just as fluffy and silly as the rest of the
series, although the T&A quotient is relatively tame considering how much
focus was later given to displaying the series’ leading ladies in bikinis,
cheerleader costumes, low-cut gowns, and such. Rather than cleavage and legs,
the caveman-mentality focus is primarily on the “novelty” of beautiful women
demonstrating competence as private investigators, although the distaff
detectives get even more male supervision during the pilot than they usually
did in their weekly adventures.
The pilot introduces the three original
protagonists—Jill Munroe (Farrah Fawcett-Majors), Kelly Garrett (Jaclyn Smith),
and Sabrina Duncan (Kate Jackson)—receiving their first assignments from
mysterious employer Charles Townsend (the never-seen character whose voice is
provided by John Forsythe). In a brief prologue that later became the show’s
iconic opening-credits sequence, viewers are told that the women graduated from
the police academy only to be given thankless jobs, and then were hired to work
for Townsend. The Angels, as Townsend calls them, take instructions from their
direct supervisor, Woodville (David Ogden Stiers), a character who was dropped
before the first regular episode. The ladies’ other male colleague
is fellow detective John Bosley (David Doyle), portrayed in the pilot as a
cheerful buffoon and later reworked as stalwart coworker.
Written by series
creators Ivan Goff and Ben Roberts—veteran screenwriters whose collaborative
record stretches all the way back to the James Cagney classic White Heat (1949)—the mystery that the
Angels explore in the pilot isn’t really a mystery. Undoubtedly bearing the
fingerprints of producer Aaron Spelling, who made a fortune playing to the
lowest common denominator of the American viewing audience, the narrative is
spoon-fed to viewers, with every complication explained in a condescending
manner. The daughter of a wealthy California vintner disappeared years ago, and
now that the vintner has also disappeared, his estate may fall into the hands
of his unscrupulous widow. It’s up to the Angels to determine whether anything
shady is happening, thus prompting the usual cycle of Jill, Kelly, and Sabrina
masquerading as various people in order to find information.
The supporting cast
features solid players Bo Hopkins and Diana Muldaur, as well as a young Tommy
Lee Jones, and the whole thing drags a bit, not just because the thin story is
stretched to almost 80 minutes but because composer Jack Elliot uses the
series’ signature twinkling musical sting so many times the cue becomes
annoying. Seeing as how Fawcett-Majors was the first season’s breakout star
thanks to her dazzling barrage of big hair, erect nipples, and shiny teeth,
it’s interesting to note that Smith gets the most screen time in this initial outing. As always, she’s lovely but vapid. In any event, Charlie’s Angels the pilot movie is exactly as disposable as any
episode of Charlie’s Angels the
series, so the appeal of watching the piece (besides eye candy) is the opportunity to examine the
unremarkable beginnings of an enduring pop-culture franchise.
Charlie’s Angels: FUNKY
