If you ever make the mistake of watching multiple
’70s movies from Crown International Pictures in succession, you will quickly
discover why Crown is a poor cousin to its famous competitor in the
exploitation-movie market, American International Pictures. Whereas AIP’s
movies are, generally speaking, brisk and lurid, Crown’s flicks are often slow
and tedious. As a case in point, consider this interminable road movie about
two Vietnam vets who hit the open road in a mobile home with their girlfriends.
Jesse (Richard Hatch) is a salt-of-the-earth type who’s ready to settle down
with Kathy (Susanne Benton), but Pat (Doug Chapin) is an unhinged sociopath who
takes his long-suffering gal, Jo Ella (Ann Noland), for granted. As the quartet
drives across the Southwest, Pat tries to convince Jesse to ditch the girls so
they can buy motorcycles and travel the country together, Easy Rider-style. At one point, Pat even goes so far as to lead
Kathy toward a rattlesnake in the hopes she’ll get bitten and die. Later, Pat
pushes Jesse and Jo Ella together, hoping their infidelity will ruin Jesse’s
plans for marriage. Alas, the story seems much more interesting in synopsis
form than it does as an actual movie, because writer Arnold Somkin and director
Noel Nosseck lack the imagination and subtlety that would have been required to
make this particular narrative believable. This storytelling problem is
exacerbated by the vacuous acting one finds in most Crown releases. Hatch, best
known for his work in soaps and in the original Battlestar Galactica series, is miles ahead of his costars in terms
of craft—and, with all due respect, if Richard Hatch defines the upper echelon
of an acting ensemble, that’s a problem. As a result of the iffy filmmaking and
shoddy performances, Best Friends is
dull and repetitive, comprising long scenes of actors “behaving” because they
haven’t anything else to do; worse, when the movie finally generates events,
which doesn’t happen nearly often enough, character motivations feel contrived
instead of credible. The picture eventually winds its way toward the requisite
’70s bummer ending, but even that underwhelms, taking far too much screen time
to deliver far too little content.
Best
Friends: LAME
